By Nat Crawford
We've all heard the statistics on communication: 55% is tonality, 38% is
non-verbal, and 7% is the words we use. I think there is heavy weight in
our tonality and our non-verbal clues, and I still must believe there is
greater weight in the words we choose.
For example, if your boss sat you down, put on a big smile, sounded very
chipper and uttered "You are fired" you would not care an ounce how
their tone or posture was!
I want to share an easy and important habit to get into when choosing
your words. Our words display our feelings and purpose. Have you ever heard a
boss say something similar to “You are a valued worker in our organization, but I have had some complaints come my
way.” Once you hear the word “but” you’ve disregarded the positive side of the
message. In fact, research shows 90% of listeners forget the first statement
made!
The word “but” can be a divider that pushes two pieces of puzzle far apart. Another
example, when you tell someone, “This past month your accuracy went up by 5%, but your total output was down 10%.”
This statement ultimately knocks down their improvement while highlighting
their deficiency.
Compare those statements by replacing “but” with “and.” For example, “You
are a valued worker in our organization, and
I have heard some complaints come my way. Let’s review and see how we can
make things right” or “This past month your accuracy went up by 5%, and your total output was down 10%. What
are some ways you can improve your output this month?”
Do you see the dramatic difference the exchange of words can be? Whenever
you use the word “and”, you bring the pieces of the puzzle together. It refuses
tension with collaboration.
Use this technique the next time you have to combine good and bad news or
when you are having a discussion of differing viewpoints.
Post your results using the power of “and.”Labels: and, bad, boss, but, choose, collaboration, Communication, good, puzzle, viewpoints, words
