I was wrapping up our August newsletter and I discovered an article titled "Study: Little White Lies Keep Relationships Strong" by Inc.com. You can read it on their website. I had to see what spin they were putting on this...
Now before you start preparing your own defense to what I could write next, hear me out wholly. After that, let's dialogue. The author writes "Lying to get your way? Bad idea. But telling a little white lie to spare someone's feelings? Not so terrible. In fact, it may even serve as the glue bonding you together with your friends and coworkers." That summarizes the whole article. Lie if your insight, your opinion will hurt someone's feelings. It shares an example of telling your boss you like their shoes, even when you don't. I disagree with this advice and here's why.
Integrity. Integrity is important. Without it, you are hollow. An essential piece of integrity is honesty. It's kind of amazing, but we actually have to teach courses on personal values and the importance of integrity. Let me offer a better piece of advice other than tell white lies to keep someone's subjective feelings positive. Use good judgment.
Good judgment will tell me if someone is looking for a compliment or constructive-criticism. You see your boss come-in wearing something quite horrific. You can pay them a unwarranted compliment or just avoid it all together. Should they be hinting for approval do not lie. Give them an honest compliment. "Boss, you have a style all your own."
One more example: Your coworker works on a proposal and presentation. They ask you to review it. Your come back to them and they ask "What do you think?" Let's assume it's bad. You could say "Looks like a home run, buddy. See you at the top!" That's the white lie. Let's avoid it. You could use bad judgment, but remain honest and say, "Did Helen Keller write this thing? I mean, c'mon, it is incomprehensible!" Nope, that'll crush them. What about instead "You put your heart into this. I can see that. I think it has a lot of good content, and I think we can tweak a few things and you'll be much happier with it." Good judgement wins, in my view.
A tip from Cornerstone - Do the right thing, yes - the honest thing, even when it can be an emotionally uncomfortable thing. The price and dividends of integrity are worth it.
What do you think? We want to know. Let's chat below!
Labels: behaviors, beliefs, cornerstone leadership solutions, good judgement, Honesty, inc.com., Integrity, Leadership, thinking, white lies
