Honesty, a Cornerstsone of Integrity

By Nat Crawford

I recently presented on the value integrity. When I ask my audiences, "What is integrity?" I get the same answer: character. Character is the legacy which takes time time to establish, but only a second to destroy. How does one establish a life of integrity? We teach there are four cornerstones, and the first is honesty.

First, honesty starts with being honest with yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself, who can you be honest with? There is a picture of Homer Simpson looking at his overweight self in a mirror, but seeing a chiseled body builder. We are all guilty of being like the man that the apostle James describes, " He is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like" (James 1:23-24 ESV). We need to be aware of who we are. We need to see our strengths as well as our weaknesses and deal with them.

 Second, honesty is nurtured by a core group of honest and reliable people. We have little control over who sits next to us at our office or who is in our division, but we do control with whom we spend our free time. Jim Rohn says you become the average of the five people you hang out with most. Are those people honest, reliable, and at a level at which you want to be? If they aren't find those people and be with the consistently. If you want a healthy marriage, find happy and healthy marrieds. If you want to be a better golfer, golf with better players.

 Last, honesty uses discernment.  Honesty does not mean saying everything you know, believe, and think. Honesty uses discernment on what to say, how to say it, and when to say it.  For example, suppose your wife asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?" Is she seeking a compliment or a nudge to go on a diet? Chances are she seeks a compliment. "I think you look beautiful in that dress" is probably the best answer. It is true and gives her what she ultimately wanted.  If your boss asks, "How am I doing a boss?" Do you let him or her have it, and risk damaging your reputation? Or do you offer constructive criticism with the power of and? For example, "I really enjoy your management style, and you could offer a variety of "thank you's" instead of the same gift card every month. Not everyone on the team eats at XYZ Restaurant."

Remember, trust is an outcome, not a value. Trust is established by honesty and living a life of integrity. 

“Integrity is such an admirable quality, that even your enemies will trust you if they know you’re a man of integrity.” ~ Ravi Zacharias

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